Hazy Shade of Winter…

I kept thinking all these many months that I was blocked. Maybe done with my blog. That I had said all the things I wanted to say.

Turns out I was spending too much time on Facebook and that I still have PLENTY to talk about. And I do mean plenty. I may not actually be able to write about all the things that are going on because I am convinced that one day my parents are going to stumble across my blog and quite possibly be horrified, but there are words inside of my head that need to find their way out. And soon. Or there are gonna be all sorts of issues up in here.

That having been said, I felt so good last night after writing an update. And then catching up on some blog reading. I still have lots more to catch up on, and comments to leave. I laughed, I cried, and then cried some more. It was awesome. I realized how much I missed all of you, my bloggy friends. How disconnected I had become. I didn’t like it. I don’t like it. I enjoy being able to come to my site and write about my life. I enjoy reading about yours. So bear with me. I’m working on it.

Wal*Greens, You Are Dead To Me…

Dear Wal*Greens,

Over the past few years I have given you many chances to reclaim my love. Which is something I almost never do. I gave you another try even after you lost my wedding pictures. That’s right, my wedding pictures. The sad thing is that you didn’t even seem all that sorry at the time.

During this, apparently, one-sided relationship I have overlooked rude employees, snotty managers, and a basic lack of any of your sale items. I have endured jacked-up prices and long waits at your pharmacy. All of this while attempting to keep some teeny,tiny shred of the love we once shared.

That ends today. Or rather, yesterday. I needed cough medicine for Nub. Against my better judgement I decided to stop by Wal*Greens because it is across the street from where I work. And I was running a little late. Naturally, the store was in the middle of some type of inventory. In the, you guessed it, Cold & Flu aisle. After finally locating the appropriate cough medicine I headed to the cashier. While in line I noticed it doesn’t give the dose for 4 year olds. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I figured I would just run on back to the Pharmacy and ask the Pharmacist for the correct dosage. I thought I knew what it was, but I don’t like to assume anything where medicine is concerned. I pay for my item and wander back to the Pharmacy. I stand at Patient Consultation and wait for the Pharmacist to acknowledge me. Which she does not. She looks right at me and does or says nothing. Not, ” Hey, be right with ya”, or even ” Bitch, please”. Nothing . I wait a minute more and then I say ” Hey, I just have a quick question for you”. She informs me she will be right with me. I say no problem. She finishes the prescription she is working on and calls the person to the back. This would be the part where I got pissed. She then starts filling another prescription. Without answering my question. Which would have taken all of about, oh I don’t know, FIVE SECONDS. I am pretty mad by this point. I pick up my bottle of cough medicine and walk out the door.

And out of your life, Wal*Greens. Forever. You are dead to me.

                                                                      Signed,

                                                            No Longer Your Lovah

Frickity-frackin’ Internets…

So. I am right in the middle of placing a HUGE order for my Avon peeps. I update the order after every third item because, Dude, I learn from my mistakes. It may take me longer than the average bear, but I learn. So after placing what is quite possibly the largest order I have ever had I realize I forgot to order some brochures. No big, right?

Eeennnn, wrong. I can no longer access the site. WTF? I am beyond mad right now. Stupid internets. I keep thinking that it will be okay if I just give it a minute,already. Nada. I have given it lots of minutes,already. I’m about to give it a few minutes in a little place I like to call where-the-sun-don’t-shine. Already.

Now. Quit fucking around and give me my damn order. Or I will be forced to go all crazy on your internets self.

DWTS Season Seven’s Cast…

I am soooo excited about this season’s cast and in about one minute I will tell you why! Here is the list…

1-Lance Bass. Okay. Snore…

2-Rocco Dispirito. I don’t care for him. Now, if it were say, Gordon Ramsey? Hubba hubba.

3-Misty May-Treanor. So very,very cool. I puffy pink heart her.

4-Maurice Greene. Who?

5-Toni Braxton. I like her well enough. My only problem would be a long ago roommate who listened to “Unbreak My Heart” seventeen katrillion times until I wanted to stab her in the eye. Other than that? We are all good.

6-Kim Kardashian. I can’t help but love her too. Don’t ask me why. I dunno.

7-Cody Lindley. From Hannah Montana. One of my, er the boys, favorite shows. Shut it. I already admitted I thought Billy Ray Cryus was hot. What more do you people want? Blood? My soul?

8-Cloris Leachman. Not to be indelicate, but I didn’t even realize she was still alive.

9-Ted McGinley. I always liked him. I had a minor crush on him when I was in high school. Funny guys really did it for me. Still do. My husband is one of the funniest men I have ever met.

10-Brooke Burke. Meh. Kinda ambivalent on this one. She seems nice enough. Other than horrible taste in men and baby names.

11-Jeffrey Ross. Comedian. Um, yeah. Not so much with the funny.

12-Warren Sapp. This ought to be good. Have you seen the sheer size of this man? Jeebus.

And that would normally be the end of it as we all know. Except. It’s not. Because this year there are THIRTEEN STARS. Squeeeeee! The thirteenth star is none other than one of my most favoritest stars evah…

13-SUSAN LUCCI aka “Erica Kane”. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I am beside myself with excitement. I feel the need to point out that I have been a fan of AMC for about twenty years. I used to be able to name all the men she had married. Then I had children and that little skill went out the window. Along with being able to sleep late. What? Where was I? Oh yes, SUSAN LUCCI. The only thing that could have possibly made it any better would have been if her daughter was on at the same time. Dude. I am giving myself goosebumps. I really need to get out more.

Anyhoo. I am looking forward to the new season with an enthusiasm that is usually reserved for the start of college football season. Now all I need is a DWTS shirt. Too much?

Question of the Day…

Technically, can it still be referred to as baby weight if the baby will be three years old next month?

GUESS WHAT?

I WON MY VERY FIRST PiF CONTEST!

That’s right, baby! I WON! WOO-HOO, WOO-HOO, WOO-HOO.

Okay. I’m done. And now feeling slightly guilty that I haven’t sent off the package to my first PiF winner. I know, I suck. It has been sitting in the back of my van for over a week. Because I keep putting off going to the Post Office. Only because I have to take the boys inside with me. Yeah. Not so much. But I am going to. Because I do feel bad. And slacky. And bad.

Anyhoo, back to being a WINNER. Misty over at http://mistyatourhouse.blogspot.com/ held her own PiF after winning one she entered and I won it! Confused? I am, a little.

But I WON!

I will keep y’all posted. And calm down.

Life Lesson # 8,632…

When making your world famous Sweet Potato Souffle DO NOT use colored marshmallows.

It looks revolting. Especially the green ones, if you get my drift. It was still amazing. Just a little gross, visually.

That’s all I’m sayin’.

As you were.

Bah…

The weather here in the South has been completely insane these last few weeks.

Tornados, hail the size of tangerines( sadly, that is really not an exaggeration and once I figure out to upload the pictures from my cell phone I will show you!),sunshine one minute, torrential downpours the next, warm weather, cold weather, windy weather and about a bajillion different changes every. day. I cannot take it anymore. My poor sinuses are begging for some sort of reprieve. My body is staging a rebellion even as we speak. I am tired. I need a break. And that is so not gonna happen. I have a busy week ahead of me. Involving a trip to the Social Security office AND the DMV, in the same day. I must be crazy.

Did I mention that those two trips into the outer realms of hell will be taking place after I visit my OB/GYN to have my IUD removed? Yeah. Good times. Plus, I will be making dinner for my parent’s later on that night.

Bah.

I almost hate to say it, but I am really looking forward to summer. Even if it is hotter than the hammered down hinges of hell. At least there won’t be any frickin’ pollen.

Bah. Pollen.

No Nookie for you…

If anyone is uncomfortable with the subject of sex, then now is the time to leave.

Still here? Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I am hardly ever in the mood for sex. There, I said it. My husband is begining to feel resentful. Okay,okay, he is pissed off and acting like an asshole. To which I say “pllllllllttttt”. I am tired. I am working about thirty hours a week. Plus, the housework, cooking dinner, taking care of children, etc. To hear my husband tell it you would think I was sitting around in a slinky negligee, eating bon-bons, whilst some hunky man is fanning me with a palm frond. Get real.

Don’t get me wrong, I like sex. Our sex life before we had children was fabulous. TMI? It’s still wonderful, but I am just exhausted most of the time. Methinks a vacation is in order. A grown-ups only vacation. Hint-Hint.(I don’t know why I am hinting, you all know what I mean!!!). We will have to just wait and see. In the meantime, I am just going to have to give it up. Anybody got any ideas to rekindle the romance,so to speak?

And now I have to head back to the old house. My bon-bons are calling my name.

It is way too early in the morning for this…

Again with The Wiggles. My youngest son asked me to “put on Wiggles,Mama”. Why couldn’t he just ask for Barney and be done with it? Is he trying to kill me?

And I’m not sure if it is the early hour or possible sleep deprivation the likes of which usually only follow the birth of a small child, but I am thinking that Anthony is looking hot. I am fairly certain there is something wrong with me for actually saying that. You would know there was if you had ever seen that horrible dance they do.

First Rooney, and now Anthony. What is the world coming to?