Sara Smile…

Dear Sary,

You have been gone for a little over a year now. I miss you every day.And yet I am still so goddamned pissed at you for leaving the way you did. I don’t understand why you did that. I don’t know if anyone does. If they did, no explanation was given. It doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.

I guess I just really want to know why. Why did you do such a selfish, horrible thing? Why did you not see how many,many people loved you? Why did you feel you had not one person to talk to? Not fucking one? I lived down the street from you. Down the street. You can’t know how bad that made me feel. Still makes me feel,actually. I just never felt comfortable around M. I still don’t. She didn’t seem to care too much for me either. But you can’t really blame her. I was there for the whole T. debacle. Which should have been fine. I should have dealt. Moved passed it. Something. Anything but not see you.

Dude, do you remember that day we followed her to M.’s house? Because we caught her in that lie? C. had been egging you on. We were all hanging out and watching the race, or football. You decided you had to know the truth once and for all. So we filled the cooler with beer and drove to her house. We parked down the street and proceeded to spy on her lying ass. Until it became painfully apparent that she was cheating on you. Then it wasn’t fun anymore and we drove home. We sat up all night talking and listening to music.

We had a lot of fun together, you and I.Oh, the stories I could tell.I try to remember that when it starts to hurt too much. I think about the good times. Going out to dinner at Spondivits with R. Those damn Dallas socks you wore to work just about every day! Verne Troyer. Going next door to Alan’s to get your tattoo AND your piercing.How you would leave me coffee in the mornings if you had to go to work before I did.

I haven’t forgotten one thing about you,Sug. I couldn’t. I just wanted you to know that.To know that one person truly loved you exactly as you were. That you were the best friend a girl could ever ask for.

I guess all that is really left now is for me to finally say goodbye. I hope that you finally found the peace you so desperately needed. I wish I could have been a better friend to you. That is my issue. I want you to know that I will mourn you all the days of my life.

So long, Sug. Be happy.

Me

Saving The Drama…

I will have been at my current job for two years in April. I do love it. But! I just don’t think I am that happy there anymore. My boss is pregnant with her third child, they are *possibly* buying a second store and they have made the most senior person one of two assistant managers. The other manager? Will be brought in. They have no plans on keeping the other assistant manager in house.

And that bothers me. Quite a bit actually. I’m not saying I should have automatically got the job. But someone in the store should have. It is only fair. I just don’t think you can bring someone in two years into being a store and expect them to do the job as well as someone who knows the ins and outs of the place. Just my opinion.

I also don’t really feel like I can ask questions or even present my point of view to my boss right now because she IS pregnant. The whole situation is just really screwed up. I also realize that the economy is in the toilet  and I should be grateful to even have a job. And I am. I just wish the situation could be better than it is. We are having a ton of customer complaints. I truly believe that the majority of them are completely unwarranted. People have been very unhappy with their offers(because their stuff is SHIT!) and as a result they are claiming we(as a staff) are rude. Which is such crap. It just really bothers me. Don’t get me wrong, we can be rude, and we have been. BUT! When we were, we admitted we were and explained why we were. That has just not been the case right now.

I am really kind of torn as to what to do. I have requested next weekend off in order to move(woot!woot!) and I think that will give me a much needed break. If you can call moving a “break”!! I don’t want to do anything rash.

I will think on it for a while and see what I come up with.

Ready…

I can put up with a lot of things. I have a fairly high level of patience which is now rapidly beginning to run the fuck out. I swore after the last time that I would not be put in this situation again. Ever. I swore I would live on the streets first.  And then someone tried to break into our house. And then our slumlord,er landlord, decided I apparently made the whole thing up. And then he got freaky with us about the rent. So. We moved out. Again. Don’t get me started on how DH called the afternoon of said move to say if we gave him 800$ in cash we could stay. Yeah. Dude is seriously on some crack.

We moved back in with my parents. Gah. We have found another home, we are moving in this weekend,thankyoujesus. Because I cannot take one more second of my nutty mother. Bad things will happen if I have to stay here any longer. She is crazy. Like bat-shit crazy. She told my husband that she has been experiencing “insomnia” after the death of my grandma. She says she is unable to go to sleep until around four in the morning. Yeah. I personally believe it’s because she stays up playing online poker all damn night and doesn’t stumble out of bed until around noon. Or maybe it’s the NAPS she takes at SEVEN ‘O’ CLOCK AT NIGHT. FOR TWO HOURS. Call me crazy, but that might have a little somethin’ to do with it.

Look out sanity, I’m coming home!

The Sickness Is Baaaack…

I really think this is all totally Pre-k’s fault. And the germy little beasts who ATTEND WHEN THEY ARE SICK. So really that would make it the PARENT’S fault for sending in their preshus chirrens when they are snot infected little hose-beasts.

Damn parents. I oughta go over to their houses and lick every glass in their cupboards. That would show them.

Ding-Dong…

The bikini wearing bitch is gone. That’s right, her skinny ass was kicked of American Idol last night. I am so very,very glad.

I don’t think she should have made it that far. Her voice was not that great. And frankly, I don’t think her body was all that either. Well, it wasn’t! It is one thing to be cocky when you have mad skillz and the whole package. When you don’t? Then you look like a ho.

I do have to say that my favorite part came after it was all said and done though. Right when she called the one girl “fake”. Um, pot and kettle anyone? But it all worked out in the end.

Karma once again proved her point.

Resolutions, Shmesolutions…

I decided not to make any New Year’s Resolutions this year for many reasons. Chief among them, I never keep them. So here is what I propose to do instead. I will document the things I would like to accomplish by the end of the year. That way I can update my progress through out the year.

And now, in no particular order, here they are. My goals and dreams for 2009…

1- Learn a new skill. I’m thinking guitar.

2- Go back to school.

3- Develop better eating habits.

4- Lose weight.

5- Watch less crappy tv. Or try really,really hard to.

6- Plant a garden.

7- Get caught up on all my laundry.

8- Spend a day volunteering somewhere with the boys.

9- Learn how to make grilled cheese already. what? I’m perfectly serious.

10- Catch up with all my bloggy friends.

11- Take a vacation.

12- Develop a budget and truly stick with it.

13- Make more time for my friends.

14- Take time for me.

15- Do something I normally would never do.

16- Have a “Date Night” with my husband.

17- Do something new with the boys once a month.

Well, there you have it. My list of things I would like to do/change/learn this year. Some may be trivial.  Some will present quite a challenge. But I am determined to conquer 2009. One way or another.