The One With The Bucket List…

One of my very bestest friends has been going through a sort of mid-life crisis over the last few months. She is divorced and lonely and lookin’ for love in all the wrong places. And with the worst guys ever. Maybe I should get her to write a blog. The girl has got some stories. For realz. Anyhoo, she has recently decided to make a Bucket List. Granted, it only has one item on it right now…but who knows what she’s gonna come up with next? Just in case your curiosity is piqued I will letcha know that her first big To-Do is to take a cruise, with yours truly. Oh, and “swim with fishys”. Is she cute or what?!

In the spirit of the Great Bucket List Adventure I have decided to create my very own Bucket List. I figured why the hell not. I gots nothing better to do tonight. So here goes…

1- Paris. I am an absolutely unapologetic Francophile. I need to brush up on the french first though. And maybe lose forty or sixty pounds. I don’t wanna look like a total jackwagon. If I close my eyes really tight(and the chirrens are all asleep,’cause let’s face it ain’t quiet in a house filled with three boys and two crazy dogs unless they are either sleeping or gone!) I can picture myself strolling down some quaint Paris street with my one true love, holding hands and just being together.

2- Buy a beach house. Or a cabin in the mountains. I haven’t decided which yet. But I gots time.

3- Write a book.

4- Finish my anthropology degree. Of which I only have two years left. Totally do-able. Except for the whole three small children thing and the time factor. Because we all know how much time mama’s have to themselves in a day. Meh.

5- See my beloved USC TROJANS play in the Coliseum. Or, better yet, the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP! Yeah, baby. Now we are talkin’.

6- Become a contestant on Jeopardy. Yep. You read that right. I am a fount of inconsequential knowledge.

Yeah, that’s all I have for right now. But hey, it’s a start!

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Dear Nub,

Today you are eight years old. Eight. And I am not at all prepared for that. I swear it was just last week that your Daddy and I brought you home from the hospital…I still don’t know what they were thinking to give you to a couple of newbs like us. It took us twenty minutes just to buckle you into your car seat. Thankfully, they didn’t see that or they may not have let you leave with us!

You have been such a joy to us. Always. You were such a good baby, so happy and loving. And curious about everything around you. You ate well and slept well and, aside from the New Year’s Day Incident(which scared about twelve years off my life!) you were just the world’s most perfect child. Even the toddler years weren’t too bad. Except maybe when you were four. You were a handful then. But you also had a baby brother to boss around and you sure did love that!

Now? You have two little brothers who quite simply adore you. You are pretty patient with them. Except when you’re not. You are quiet, funny, silly, adventurous, curious, loving and so kind it melts my heart. You have grown into such an amazing young man. Daddy and I are so very proud of you. And so very blessed to have been given the gift of you, eight glorious years ago today.

We love you, Nub. Happy Birthday! We look forward to sharing many, many more with you.

All our love,
Mama, Daddy, Dub and Bub.

The One With The Asperger’s…

Before Winter Break began I had a conference with Nub’s teacher. And the school psychologist, the counselor, an assistant principal and some other lady I don’t know. I’m not gonna lie, it skeert me. I knew the conference was coming, and that the counselor and psychologist would be there. But not the other two. I broke out into a cold sweat. They were quick to reassure me that it would be fine, and that they had Nub’s interest’s at heart. But still, cold sweat y’all.

The assistant principal began the meeting by handing me a parent handbook for the Student Support Teams. Which is basically a support system for children with academic/ behavioural issues. It took absolutely every ounce of willpower I possessed not to put my head on the table and bawl my eyes out. I know that’s silly. I know it was silly at the time. But Nub is my baby. And it hurt. Once she finished going over the handbook with me we started talking about Nub and the issues he had been facing in school. They had been observing him for several weeks prior to our meeting and wanted to talk to me about what they had noticed. And that’s where the school psychologist took over.

She asked me if I knew anything about Asperger’s Syndrome. And the pieces fell into place. We discussed their findings and what steps would have to be taken next. The more we talked the more it made sense. She gave me some information and told me to contact our pediatrician. They would begin testing him as soon as he returned to school.

And that’s where we are right now. Today. There are only two days of school this week so I imagine they will begin testing him next week. I’m ready to do whatever has to be done for my son. My sweet baby boy who will be eight years old next week.

I know this doesn’t fundamentally change who Nub is. I get that. They said he was brilliant, but had social and anxiety issues. No bigs, right? Except yeah, it is pretty bigs. My heart breaks for him, not because of the possibility of Asperger’s, but because being a child who is “different” in ANY way is hard. Children are cruel. Hell, people are cruel. He already feels weird and like no one likes him. Which breaks my heart all over again. I want it to all be okay. For him, and his little brothers. But I can’t kiss this boo-boo and magically make it all better. I wish that I could…