Before Winter Break began I had a conference with Nub’s teacher. And the school psychologist, the counselor, an assistant principal and some other lady I don’t know. I’m not gonna lie, it skeert me. I knew the conference was coming, and that the counselor and psychologist would be there. But not the other two. I broke out into a cold sweat. They were quick to reassure me that it would be fine, and that they had Nub’s interest’s at heart. But still, cold sweat y’all.
The assistant principal began the meeting by handing me a parent handbook for the Student Support Teams. Which is basically a support system for children with academic/ behavioural issues. It took absolutely every ounce of willpower I possessed not to put my head on the table and bawl my eyes out. I know that’s silly. I know it was silly at the time. But Nub is my baby. And it hurt. Once she finished going over the handbook with me we started talking about Nub and the issues he had been facing in school. They had been observing him for several weeks prior to our meeting and wanted to talk to me about what they had noticed. And that’s where the school psychologist took over.
She asked me if I knew anything about Asperger’s Syndrome. And the pieces fell into place. We discussed their findings and what steps would have to be taken next. The more we talked the more it made sense. She gave me some information and told me to contact our pediatrician. They would begin testing him as soon as he returned to school.
And that’s where we are right now. Today. There are only two days of school this week so I imagine they will begin testing him next week. I’m ready to do whatever has to be done for my son. My sweet baby boy who will be eight years old next week.
I know this doesn’t fundamentally change who Nub is. I get that. They said he was brilliant, but had social and anxiety issues. No bigs, right? Except yeah, it is pretty bigs. My heart breaks for him, not because of the possibility of Asperger’s, but because being a child who is “different” in ANY way is hard. Children are cruel. Hell, people are cruel. He already feels weird and like no one likes him. Which breaks my heart all over again. I want it to all be okay. For him, and his little brothers. But I can’t kiss this boo-boo and magically make it all better. I wish that I could…