The One With The Bucket List…

One of my very bestest friends has been going through a sort of mid-life crisis over the last few months. She is divorced and lonely and lookin’ for love in all the wrong places. And with the worst guys ever. Maybe I should get her to write a blog. The girl has got some stories. For realz. Anyhoo, she has recently decided to make a Bucket List. Granted, it only has one item on it right now…but who knows what she’s gonna come up with next? Just in case your curiosity is piqued I will letcha know that her first big To-Do is to take a cruise, with yours truly. Oh, and “swim with fishys”. Is she cute or what?!

In the spirit of the Great Bucket List Adventure I have decided to create my very own Bucket List. I figured why the hell not. I gots nothing better to do tonight. So here goes…

1- Paris. I am an absolutely unapologetic Francophile. I need to brush up on the french first though. And maybe lose forty or sixty pounds. I don’t wanna look like a total jackwagon. If I close my eyes really tight(and the chirrens are all asleep,’cause let’s face it ain’t quiet in a house filled with three boys and two crazy dogs unless they are either sleeping or gone!) I can picture myself strolling down some quaint Paris street with my one true love, holding hands and just being together.

2- Buy a beach house. Or a cabin in the mountains. I haven’t decided which yet. But I gots time.

3- Write a book.

4- Finish my anthropology degree. Of which I only have two years left. Totally do-able. Except for the whole three small children thing and the time factor. Because we all know how much time mama’s have to themselves in a day. Meh.

5- See my beloved USC TROJANS play in the Coliseum. Or, better yet, the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP! Yeah, baby. Now we are talkin’.

6- Become a contestant on Jeopardy. Yep. You read that right. I am a fount of inconsequential knowledge.

Yeah, that’s all I have for right now. But hey, it’s a start!

School Days…

I picked up the registration forms for Dub to attend preK this afternoon. He will be going to the same place as Nub. To say that Dub is thrilled is putting it mildly. Mama? Not so much.

He asks me EVERY. DAY. if it’s “next day” that he will be going to school. And every day I have to break his heart by telling him that it isn’t time yet. He is so cute. And so ready to go to big boy school…just like his bubba.

I can’t help but feel a little sorry for myself. I’ve been home with him for most of his life. He’s my little pal, my helper. We snuggle all the times. Well, maybe not quite so much now that he is a big boy, but still. Where does the time go? I’m pretty sure I just brought him home from the hospital last week. Next thing you know he will be leaving for college!

Gah. At least I still have Bub around to distract me. He won’t be leaving me to go to school any time soon. At least I don’t think he will…but you never know with kids.

Hazy Shade of Winter…

I kept thinking all these many months that I was blocked. Maybe done with my blog. That I had said all the things I wanted to say.

Turns out I was spending too much time on Facebook and that I still have PLENTY to talk about. And I do mean plenty. I may not actually be able to write about all the things that are going on because I am convinced that one day my parents are going to stumble across my blog and quite possibly be horrified, but there are words inside of my head that need to find their way out. And soon. Or there are gonna be all sorts of issues up in here.

That having been said, I felt so good last night after writing an update. And then catching up on some blog reading. I still have lots more to catch up on, and comments to leave. I laughed, I cried, and then cried some more. It was awesome. I realized how much I missed all of you, my bloggy friends. How disconnected I had become. I didn’t like it. I don’t like it. I enjoy being able to come to my site and write about my life. I enjoy reading about yours. So bear with me. I’m working on it.

The Top Ten Reasons Why I am Sucking it Right Now…

1* I am largely knocked up. Seriously. The kid already weighs 7lb,14oz. At 35 weeks.

2* My brain is just shot all to hell and back. It’s so bad that when I actually got a question right on Jeopardy last night my father about fell off the couch. Sadly, that is NOT an exaggeration.

3* For the first time in my life I don’t feel like talking. I KNOW.

4* I feel like I am hunkered down in baby- having- mode, whatever that means.

5* I’m also kinda stressed out. Jimmy might lose his job. Again. In about two to three weeks. Just in time for me to have the baby. Isn’t that hilarious? Don’t you just want to laugh at the absolute fucking absurdity of it? He may be able to get on with another part of the company(it’s an involved story, but I will tell you that it is a merger gone slightly wonky), but that would involve being transferred. Which would be fine, except I am pregnant and we would also have to have my parents move with us. Again with the hilarity. Gah.

6* I am tired. All the times. And if I’m not tired then I am peeing.

7* I am a raging bitch. Seriously. I don’t need to be allowed out of the house. And god help the next person who parks in a Pregnant Woman Only parking spot because it is liable to get ugly up in here real quick.

8* Did I mention that I am large?

9* I am also lazy. I can not get motivated to save my life. I’m hoping that nesting kicks in soon so I can get some stuff done.

10* I am going to two different doctors twice a week now and I am so confused that I just don’t know if I am coming or going half the time. It would make far too much sense to see them both on the same day. But them’s the breaks.

Okay, now you have some sort of idea where I’ve been(the doctors) and what I’ve been doing(raging at poor unsuspecting drivers and nothing). I’m sure that I will be better about updating once the bebe arrives…maybe. Probably. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll probably still be sucking it, but at least now you’ll know why!

Nuttier Than a Frickin’ Fruitcake…

Seriously. I am about three steps away from becoming a homicidal maniac. The hormones this pregnancy are raging. I have issues. My issues have issues. It’s one big, frickin’ roller coaster ride from hell. And it’s still January.

I’m sure the fact that I have become an Oompah Loompah overnight has very little to do with it. And it’s certainly not that my parents have moved in with us and my normally lovely children have turned into the demon spawns from hell. It can’t be my almost potty trained new puppy who has gone back to having a nervous bladder because my mother keeps yelling at her. Or my ever charming husband who has taken to hiding in our room playing Oblivion for hours on end. Now that I think about it I am also certain it can’t be the fact that they have taken over my entire house with their frickin’ crap, causing me to move vast quantities of my own crap into our already very crowded room. We won’t even mention all the well meaning advice…

It’s a stumper alright.

Good Lord, Has it Been That Long?!?!

Um, hello. I just sorts realized that my last post was back in November. Yeeeaah.

Here’s the thing. This pregnancy has been kinda rough. And seemingly the longest pregnancy ever. Even though I am only 30 weeks. Lots of drama. But really, when isn’t there drama in my life? I know I owe a serious post about what happened to my father, and you will get one. But not tonight.

Tonight is about the bebe.

It’s a BOY! He weghs over four pounds already. Lord help me! He is measuring 32-33 weeks(except for his belly which is measuring 34 weeks!). The boy is a moose. He also has a tiny bit of fluid in his left kidney. I am being sent to a pediatric urologist. And they may have to operate on him after he is born. It’s a lot of big words that I am too tired to figure out how to spell, so I will just tell you this. It’s not scary. It is pretty simple and fairly common.And I am amazingly calm about the whole situation. Weirdly.

I am just ready to meet my son. And to NOT be preganant anymore. And to sleep on my tummy while eating Brie and medium rare steak. And bleu cheese.

The end.