The One With The Bucket List…

One of my very bestest friends has been going through a sort of mid-life crisis over the last few months. She is divorced and lonely and lookin’ for love in all the wrong places. And with the worst guys ever. Maybe I should get her to write a blog. The girl has got some stories. For realz. Anyhoo, she has recently decided to make a Bucket List. Granted, it only has one item on it right now…but who knows what she’s gonna come up with next? Just in case your curiosity is piqued I will letcha know that her first big To-Do is to take a cruise, with yours truly. Oh, and “swim with fishys”. Is she cute or what?!

In the spirit of the Great Bucket List Adventure I have decided to create my very own Bucket List. I figured why the hell not. I gots nothing better to do tonight. So here goes…

1- Paris. I am an absolutely unapologetic Francophile. I need to brush up on the french first though. And maybe lose forty or sixty pounds. I don’t wanna look like a total jackwagon. If I close my eyes really tight(and the chirrens are all asleep,’cause let’s face it ain’t quiet in a house filled with three boys and two crazy dogs unless they are either sleeping or gone!) I can picture myself strolling down some quaint Paris street with my one true love, holding hands and just being together.

2- Buy a beach house. Or a cabin in the mountains. I haven’t decided which yet. But I gots time.

3- Write a book.

4- Finish my anthropology degree. Of which I only have two years left. Totally do-able. Except for the whole three small children thing and the time factor. Because we all know how much time mama’s have to themselves in a day. Meh.

5- See my beloved USC TROJANS play in the Coliseum. Or, better yet, the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP! Yeah, baby. Now we are talkin’.

6- Become a contestant on Jeopardy. Yep. You read that right. I am a fount of inconsequential knowledge.

Yeah, that’s all I have for right now. But hey, it’s a start!


It’s Raining in Baltimore…

I miss you.

Some days more than others. Some days it’s almost like a physical ache. Some days it’s like a goddamned punch in the gut.

I don’t have any answers. And I think that may be the crappiest part. No one wants to talk about it. It hurts them too. I can understand that. I can barely talk about it without crying and it’s been seven years. Seven years. Seven years since some drunken asshole hit you while you were crossing the street and then drove off. I hope they caught the person who did it. I don’t know if they did…

It’s funny, but I can’t remember what made me think about you today.Just a little something in passing, I guess. I am going out next week, it’s my best friend’s birthday. You would have liked her. Correction, you would have LOVED her. It will be the first time I have gone out since I had Bub. I believe there will have to be the obligatory Bat and a Ball in your honor. She knows all about them too.

It’s the least I can do for the man who taught me everything I know…love you.


I feel like a lot of the rest of you must feel, lots to do and very little time to do it. The weather lately has not helped at all. Apparently, that lovely trend will continue because they are now calling for the possibility of three inches of the white stuff. Gah. On the bright side, Nub is out of school this week(or most of it) for Winter Break so it shouldn’t affect his Spring Break. Hopefully. ‘Cause this mama has plans that involve the beach, baby.

But that brings me to the rest of the story. I’m not getting a lot done around here because I am entertaining/refereeing an extra child during the day. Plus, I am gigantically pregnant. Okay, 34 weeks. But, still… And if that weren’t enough, I am going to three different doctors. Did I mention that I was pregnant and half the time don’t know if I’m coming or going anyway?! Unfortunately that last sentence has more truth than poetry in it.

The end is near,however faint that light at the end of the pregnancy tunnel may be. My shower is next weekend. Shut it. It’s been FOUR YEARS since I had a baby. I gave away all my stuff. Sue me. We have a crib, and some clothes. I’m only feeling slightly panicky. Okay, maybe more than slightly. But it’s not full-blown yet.

Tired Is As Tired Does…

There is so much stuff going on right now. And not just the Olympics.

I may, and or may not, have escaped death today. Well, I did obviously escape it. Duh, I am writing about my experience. But as to whether I would have actually died, well, who really knows? Here is the story…

My parent’s have long been loyal DirecTv subscribers. For like fifteen years. Loved them. Until our trees grew and blocked their signal. Not so much love after that. They call up good ol‘ Customer Service only to be told there was nothing that could be done. Short of cutting down the tree(heresy) or paying to have DirecTv come out and re-position the satellite(so not gonna happen). So they shut off DirecTv. I know. It was just about as painful as it sounds. I mention that they should switch to Dish. We had it and absolutely loved it. Nary a problem. So they decide to give it a whirl. Only it will take about two weeks to have it installed. Again with the knowing.

Fast forward two weeks to today. My father gets a wild hair and decides he needs a new tv. A flat screen. He sends Mama and I out to search for a good deal. We hit K-Mart, hhgregg(which is a whole ‘nother post) and finally, Wal-Marts. We chose to go with the Sanyo from Wal-Marts. Only ours didn’t have it. So we had to drive to the next town to pick it up. And here is where the almost dying part comes in to play.

We are driving down the interstate and it starts to sound funny. Like a helicopter is hovering right above me. Thwupthwupthwupthwup. I can’t figure out what the hell is making that noise, but nothing is wonky with my car. And we are almost there and at that point I just honestly wanted to stop the car and see what was wrong with it. We get the tv and come back out. I don’t see anything wrong with the car. So we get back in it. And the noise is worse. But we have Dub in the car with us and it is hot. I figure if I go slow and am really careful, we can make it home. And we do,thankyoujeebus. All I have to do now is wait for my husband to get home and take a look at it.

I go to work. Typical day, people are idiots, it’s hot, blah, blah. I come home and go see if he has figured out what the problem was. He had. Back when I had my tires done they, apparently,did not put my lug nuts back on correctly. Or even tightly. One of them is gone. As in no longer there. Three of them are sliced in half.That leaves me with one. One lug nut holding my tire on it’s rim.One. I am very lucky I wasn’t in a massive wreck. My husband was slightly shaken up by the thought of what almost happened.

Now? He is very,very angry. I will be calling the Tire Company first thing in the morning. I don’t want this to happen to someone else. And now,if y’all will excuse me, I am going to bed. Almost being killed really makes you quite tired.