It’s Raining in Baltimore…

I miss you.

Some days more than others. Some days it’s almost like a physical ache. Some days it’s like a goddamned punch in the gut.

I don’t have any answers. And I think that may be the crappiest part. No one wants to talk about it. It hurts them too. I can understand that. I can barely talk about it without crying and it’s been seven years. Seven years. Seven years since some drunken asshole hit you while you were crossing the street and then drove off. I hope they caught the person who did it. I don’t know if they did…

It’s funny, but I can’t remember what made me think about you today.Just a little something in passing, I guess. I am going out next week, it’s my best friend’s birthday. You would have liked her. Correction, you would have LOVED her. It will be the first time I have gone out since I had Bub. I believe there will have to be the obligatory Bat and a Ball in your honor. She knows all about them too.

It’s the least I can do for the man who taught me everything I know…love you.

Update…

My father is home for the weekend. He did not have a heart attack. For which I am very grateful. But, he will be going back next Thursday for open heart surgery. As you can all well imagine, things are hectic. I’m not sure when I will be back.

Keep him in your prayers,please.

It’s Deja Vu All Over Again…

The day after my youngest son was born my father came down with the worst case of the chicken pox his doctor had ever seen. Apparently, my father managed to go most of his life without ever having been exposed. This includes a bout that my brother and I went through when we were little. Weird.

Two weeks after the Chicken Pox Incident my husband woke me up early in the morning to tell me that my father was in the ER, his grandparents were on the way to watch the boys, and I needed to get dressed. He had had the first of what turned out to be four heart attacks. The next few days were a complete blur. We went from Wellstar D, to Wellstar C, to P Hospital. It was terrifying. Every time the phone rang my heart would stop. The doctors of all three hospitals will forever be in my debt. Especially his cardiologist from P Hospital. He saved his life.He had four stents put in. They joined the two that were put in after his first heart attack, the one that took place what now seems like a lifetime ago. The one that caused him to quit smoking and eat better. Exercise more. It gave us hope that he would be okay.

Fast forward to two and a half years later. Today. This morning. When my husband again woke me up with the news that my father was in yet another hospital. And that one of his stents had possibly collapsed. That they were fairly certain he had not had another heart attack, but wanted to run some tests to be sure. Oh, and could I not go to work today, but not tell my boss why. And maybe find someone to watch the kids, but not tell them why. And be sure not to tell any of my friends. Because no one could know. Because if the wrong person found out, they could lose it all. Which of course was my number one concern. I mean, far be it from me to be more concerned with a crazy little thing like my father’s actual health, than about whether or not someone finds out he is in the hospital with heart problems. AGAIN.

I kept asking my husband if I was dreaming. It seems like we just went through all of this yesterday.How can it be happening again? I am so tired. I barely slept at all last night because of my stupid stye. And in a few minutes I have to go wake up my mom and the boys. I came straight here after dropping my hubs off at work. Please keep my father in your prayers. I will be back with an update just as soon as I know exactly what is going on.

Why I Haven’t Been Posting… And It Has Nothing To Do With The Ol’ Pinky Toe….

My friend M. lost everything she had in an apartment fire on Sunday night. The fire destroyed twenty units, including hers. Thankfully, she and her family were completely unharmed. They also had renter’s insurance.

I am so upset for her. We haven’t been friends for too terribly long. But we just sorta connected. The girl is exactly like me, but with smaller boobs. Her children are the same age as the boys. Her husband is just like my husband. It is almost freaky. But I digress. I am working on finding her things for her house. We have all got together and bought the girls new clothes. My boss bought towels,diapers,socks,underwear,deodorant, and the like. As well as clothes for her and D. I am very grateful to work for such an awesome boss. Very grateful.

She is doing okay. The girls are fine. She is just so damn scared. I don’t blame her. I’m scared for her. I cannot imagine what this must be like for her. I am just doing whatever I can to help out. So if I’m not here for a little bit, then you know why.

Keep her and her family in your prayers, please.